1st Spell - Video

[whatthewrackspurt]

Hello, everyone.

I've never been on a ship like this before. Or any ship, really, so I can't say for certain whether the person in charge is always so elusive when it comes to answering questions. I suspect he thinks it's all in good fun, making you believe one thing but telling you another. I don't think I understand his humor, though.

I'm a little concerned about having made a deal with him - he could be one of the Rotfang conspirators in disguise and is set on prolonging this journey indefinitely until all our worlds are nothing but dust and spores.

Is that why all of you are having such strange dreams?

Either way, I hope there's pudding involved. It makes death seem just a little bit cheerier. I think that's why people eat so much at funerals.

Ghosts must get very jealous during mealtimes.

Comments

[routemistress]

Actually, they generally wouldn't like that, good point. I were thinking of one specific one I 'ad to wrangle in the line of duty, as it were. My Victor loved a good wrangle.

Some go by mutants, some prefer "metahuman". Mostly I just use their names, it's 'ard to go wrong there.

[whatthewrackspurt]

Metahuman might have to do until I learn their names. Are they all inmates? I've never met a mutant before, not in person. Mutations, yes, but after it's all cleared up, they go back to being ordinary humans and no one's the wiser.

[routemistress]

I think they're mostly wardens, just at the moment? I admit I don't keep count of people by their body type or whether they 'ave bathrooms.

They're the same like other people, in my experience. Or, you know, all different like other people. There's some worlds where you seem to get a lot of really unlikely mutations, that's for sure.

Then again, some people like cabbage. Takes all sorts, eh?

[whatthewrackspurt]

That too. I wonder if preferring cabbage over pudding is an evolved trait over time in order to eliminate the excess cabbages of the world.

Something to think about.

Have you been a warden long, Iris?

[routemistress]

I 'ad a working theory at one time that it were a plot cooked up by a sentient cabbage hivemind, but I were working undercover at a nunnery at the time. You start getting funny ideas when you're tit-deep in the 'orrible green buggers and you're three solar systems away from a good pub.

Month short of two years. I love it 'ere, meself. I'm getting the feeling you might and all, Luna, love. Unparalleled opportunities for an enquiring mind, this place.

[whatthewrackspurt]

That sounds dreadful. Didn't the nuns know how to brew their own? Could you even make beer out of cabbage? I wonder if anyone's tried.

I do think it's a bit romantic, really. Bringing people back from the dead. Usually that sort of activity's frowned upon but here I think it might be all right.

[routemistress]

'Course I tried. Tried distilling it and all. It did the trick, more or less, but it tasted like summat you'd tip out of your wellies and gave you the farts. Eee, I were glad when that job were over.

That's what I did for my first deal. My inmate's ex, in point of fact. Then the next inmate I got were the one that'd killed 'er. Funny 'ow quantum entanglement works, eh? But at least Vanessa's clear of that lot now. Did I 'ear you tell our Vexie you're a witch, love?

[whatthewrackspurt]

No, I don't think you'd want to drink anything like that. But do you have what you like here? I've never tried Transfiguring alcohol before but I can always give it a go.

That's time, isn't it? Quantum? I don't know much about how time twists but I expect I'll learn about it as I go along.

That's right, yes. Do you have a lot of witches here?

[routemistress]

That's one reason I love it 'ere. Free bar that stocks everything. And I've got me own hot tub. Whatever else you say about our Admiral, 'e knows good working conditions.

One other that I know of. I used to be a witch in another life and all - in a flood, once. From Ankh-Morpork, which I already know you're not. We can get back to quantum later, it's ...not so much time as the mathematics underlying time, space and matter. Does your kind of witching clash with technology, at all?

[whatthewrackspurt]

That does sound rather kind of him. I suppose the job is difficult enough without your missing a tub. Does the warmth of the tub make it difficult to climb in?

Were you, really? I wonder if I was a Muggle in another life.

We have technology of our own, but our world and the Muggle worlds are pretty well separated, and I think they're far ahead of us in certain things.