1st Spell - Video

[whatthewrackspurt]

Hello, everyone.

I've never been on a ship like this before. Or any ship, really, so I can't say for certain whether the person in charge is always so elusive when it comes to answering questions. I suspect he thinks it's all in good fun, making you believe one thing but telling you another. I don't think I understand his humor, though.

I'm a little concerned about having made a deal with him - he could be one of the Rotfang conspirators in disguise and is set on prolonging this journey indefinitely until all our worlds are nothing but dust and spores.

Is that why all of you are having such strange dreams?

Either way, I hope there's pudding involved. It makes death seem just a little bit cheerier. I think that's why people eat so much at funerals.

Ghosts must get very jealous during mealtimes.

Comments

[whatthewrackspurt]

There's nothing wrong with not knowing things, Archie. It's how you learn.

[onecertainly]

Quite right! And I've learned a fair bit here that I would be happy to teach you, should you encounter anything strange, and in turn perhaps you can tell me about the Rotfang conspirators and such.

[whatthewrackspurt]

They're very elusive, the Rotfangs. They mean to take over the Ministry from within using dark magic and dental hygiene.

[onecertainly]

[There's a 3 second pause in which an intense battle wages within Archie over whether he should touch first on the dental hygiene or the dark magic.

In the end there could only be one winner:]

...Are they dentists?

[whatthewrackspurt]

No. They flee when they're approached with floss.

[onecertainly]

Floss?

[okay straying a bit from the slightly more pressing dark magic, but dental floss hasn't been invented yet where he's from. Clearly the Rotfangs would like it there.]

[whatthewrackspurt]

Piece of string that you use to clean your teeth with. It's quite handy for keeping away the Rotfangs, and also gum disease. I'll show you, if you like.

[onecertainly]

No need, I think I can imagine. [Sort of. Anyway, carrying on to probably the more interesting bit:] And they practice dark magic? Like witchcraft?

[whatthewrackspurt]

Magic can be dark or light. It all depends on what you're doing, and who you're doing it to.

[onecertainly]

[If Archie had heard someone going on about witchcraft in such a way before coming to the Barge, he would've written them off as completely mad. Things are different now, though. The very Barge itself seems to run on magic and the existence of such wonders presents itself more as a curiosity now than a reason to judge, for want of a better word.]

Is magic normal where you're from? Or...common, I suppose I should say.

[whatthewrackspurt]

Oh yes; very normal. At least, where I live.

Except the magic-users tend to separate themselves from the Muggles. I think it's because we're worried about how much more of them there are than us.

[onecertainly]

Muggles... Those are people who don't use magic, then? [He carefully avoids saying "normal people," figuring that wouldn't go over so well. He's learned an awful lot in his short time here on the Barge.] Ah, yes, we do tend to be a bit overzealous about such things.

What sort of magic is it that you do?

[whatthewrackspurt]

That's right. Words can be a bit tricky across worlds, can't they? Good for you for catching on.

Lots of things, but I'm still working on Vanishing a bowl of tripe.

[onecertainly]

Vanishing tripe? People can do that? And can they conjure up other things in its place as well?

[whatthewrackspurt]

Yes, but only the very skilled, and people who don't like tripe.

Certain things, yes. It takes a bit of practice. Some things can't be conjured at all, and some are quite easy.

[onecertainly]

That's... incredible. Truly incredible.

I don't fully understand the rules on such matters here, as they don't apply to me, but perhaps one day you can demonstrate some of your magic. That is, if you would like.

[whatthewrackspurt]

It's fun, isn't it?

I'd like to! We don't usually get to show Muggles our magic, it's strictly forbidden. Although I think the rules are relaxed here.

[onecertainly]

I believe they are as well. I wouldn't want to get you into trouble, though, so if there's a chance of that perhaps we should forget I asked.

[whatthewrackspurt]

I think it's a little too late for that. This Barge already seems exceptionally magical.

[onecertainly]

You make a fair point. In that case, I shall look forward to the demonstration.

[He would leave it at that but.... magic is just so damn interesting. He has to ask one more thing:]

What aspect of magic would you say is your finest skill?

[whatthewrackspurt]

I'm quite good at defensive magic now, I think. I've been practicing my Patronus.

Would you like to see?

[onecertainly]

I would!

[What's a Patronus? Who knows! But he's very eager to find out.]

[whatthewrackspurt]

All right, then!

Expecto Patronum!

[From Luna's wand leaps a silvery white, bright hare that leaps around, sniffing the air with its little nose]

It's quite easy to do once there's nothing to be afraid of.

[onecertainly]

[There's a look of pure awe on Archie's face just before he breaks into a wide grin.]

Incredible! Absolutely incredible!

What's the purpose? Is it -- is it like a pet?

[whatthewrackspurt]

[Luna gives her hare a considering look]

I suppose it could be. But no, it's meant to be more of a guardian. A protector against Dementors and similar dark creatures. They're very good at it, provided you can conjure one properly in time.